Not Quite The Titanic
by mrkedfordelete
Summary: Hermione goes on a cruise with her Muggle friend, never expecting the roommate they would have. Now she's stuck with him for more than 2 weeks! DHr. What happens when they visit romantic European cities together? Twist ending.
1. The beginning of the end

**Title:** **Not Quite the Titanic**

**Summary:** Hermione goes on a cruise with her Muggle friend. She never would have guessed who their roommate was. Neither she would have guessed the consequences. D/Hr

**Disclaimer**: I'm only doing one disclaimer for this entire fic so listen up. These characters and all that good stuff belongs to JKR, her publishers, yadda yadda. Otherwise.. I'd have killed off a lot of the "goodies" by now. =) Only thing I own is Kevin and whoever else I make up in the future.  
  
**A/N:** My first ever fanfic. This is mostly a creative outlet for me. I feel like I'm much too horrible of a writer and much too inexperienced to be even thinking of writing a HP fanfic. But, I guess we all have to start somewhere, right? It took me a while to settle on this idea, and even longer to sort out the details for this chapter. I don't have a beta. If you read this and feel like it's dire for me to have one, I'll get one. Anyways, my goal for this fic: continue and finish it at a good, steady pace and get one review!

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Chapter 1  
  
_Pop!_  
  
She apparated as silently as she could into a secluded telephone booth by the bustling main floor of the Liverpool airport. Hermione Granger quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Fortunately, everyone else there was preoccupied with either grumpy children or attempting to tow around several pieces of luggage without tripping or becoming a health hazard to someone else. She silently thanked the gods (or perhaps a previous wizard/witch?) for the invention of the Reduction charm. Hermione only carried a small purse and dragged a tiny black suitcase, meant to keep her from sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the Muggles. Everything else was safely tucked away in her coat pocket.  
  
Hermione walked out the airport exit and was met with a gust of wind and blinding sunshine. She tried to scan around the car-filled road in front of the airport while getting a hold on her flying hair but managed to do neither.  
  
"Hermione! You made it!"  
  
Hermione managed to see a flash of a bright, tropically colored blur running towards her through her bushy curls before she was enveloped in a tight hug.  
  
She laughed lightly. "Nice to see you too, Kev."  
  
"How was your flight 'mione? I know you don't like airplanes much," Kevin questioned, while he looked around for her other suitcases.  
  
Hermione realized what Kevin was looking for and hurriedly said, "Oh, Kevin, I got my suitcases sent straight to the ship. The flight was alright, I managed to nap a bit." She'd gotten better at lying to her Muggle friends lately. It was, unfortunately, necessary.  
  
"Hum.. I didn't know you could do that. That would have saved me a bit of trouble. Oh well, my stuff's on that trolley over there. Let's get going then. We have to set sail at 4," Kevin said, as he turned toward his abandoned trolley and prepared to find a cab. Hermione hurried to catch up to his long strides. As they waited for a cab to stop, Hermione glanced around. She looked at her tall, cheerful friend in his ridiculous tourist getup and could not help but feel optimistic about the vacation to come. Well, actually, who wouldn't feel good about a two-week cruise around the Mediterranean? Heaven knew she needed a break from her life.

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Approximately 10 minutes later, Hermione and Kevin were still crammed into the cab, zipping away quite quickly and dangerously to the Liverpool port. Hermione was shooting odd looks, in between gazing out the window, at a beaming, whistling Kevin, who was staring at her. After five more minutes of continued whistling and mischievous smiles from Kevin, she sighed and gave up.  
  
"What have you done? You must be up to something, you're smiling like a Cheshire cat. It's creeping me out. So spill your devious plans, you little imp," Hermione demanded.  
  
Kevin feigned a look of innocence. "Who, me? I haven't done a thing."  
  
Hermione snorted. "Don't play your word games with me, Kev. You said 'haven't'. That doesn't mean you aren't planning to."  
  
Kevin sighed, then said "Honestly, 'mione, you take the fun out of everything. I was just imagining your expression after you meet our roommate."  
  
"Why would that be so amusing? He's just some business man you met in America, right?"  
  
"True... but did I mention EVERY woman at our convention fell head over heels for him? He's rich, successful, gorgeous, smart, gorgeous, witty, and did I mention gorgeous? I'd just like to see my sensible, strict, know-it- all Hermione go gaga over someone for once. Aaah.. the look on your face when you meet him will be priceless, I guarantee it," Kevin said with a fake dreamy look. "I plan to capture it on film." He even waved his camera around for emphasis.  
  
"You know what you just said is making me question some things about you, right? And besides, you failed to incorporate one thing into your little daydream. I'm SENSIBLE, remember? I'm not that type of girl. So snap out of it. Besides, it wouldn't matter anyways, seeing as how you're already gaga for him enough for the two of us." Hermione said with a laugh. She wished she had a tape recorder. Oh, how she longed to give Kevin's girlfriend a recording of Kevin calling another man gorgeous three times in one sentence. That'd be highly amusing. (A/N: let's just say Kevin's girlfriend is working so she couldn't come, yes?)  
  
"Humph. Tease me all you want now, but you'll see." Kevin stated.  
  
Hermione brushed him off. "Sure, sure." She then turned her attention to the landscapes they were passing. Try as she might, she couldn't focus on the scenery. Bugger, she thought. Kevin attempting to play matchmaker was just another reminder of the miserable thing she called her life. _It's your own damn fault anyways_, a voice reminded her. _If only you hadn't..._ 'Oh shut it you.' Hermione thought in response to well, herself. _Hermione.._ Hermione heard the voice again.  
  
"Oh shut up already! I don't want to hear anymore from you," she snapped.  
  
"Jeez, 'mione. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get you up. We're at the port but, uh, you have to get out of the cab first," Kevin said timidly.  
  
Hermione shook herself awake and gazed bleary-eyed around her. They had indeed stopped at the port in front of a vast, white boat with a single blue stripe. It was magnificent. Just then, she noticed she was still sitting in the cab. Kevin was still waving his hand trying to get her attention and the cab driver had turned around in his seat and was sending her a death glare for taking so long.  
  
"Oops, sorry," Hermione said sheepishly, trying to get out of the cab.

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"Ah.. finally. Bloody hell, they sure put enough floors into this place," exclaimed Kevin as he and Hermione finally reached the floor where they were to stay. They had been lucky enough to get a suite with a balcony and everything. Since Kevin had a friend who also wanted to go on a cruise, they roomed together and cut down the cost. They had decided to walk the stairs to their room, allowing them to get a glimpse of each floor on the way up. They of course, hadn't realized that their room was 10 floors up.  
  
"Well, stop just standing there, Kev. Let's go see our room!" Hermione said, as she tried to prod Kevin into moving.  
  
"One.....second... Hermione. Too...many...stairs," gasped Kevin.  
  
"Honestly, you big drama queen." Hermione said. Suddenly, her face split into an evil grin. "I know how to get you to move," she said, as she inched towards Kevin. "I'm going to tick..." She was cut off by Kevin's mad sprint towards their room. Hermione laughed loudly as she chased him, arms outstretched and fingers wriggling. She had finally cornered him right by their room when she heard a familiar voice in the background. She was about to turn around and see who it was when Kevin cut her off.  
  
"Oh look, it's 4 o'clock. Guess we're moving then, eh?" he said cheerfully. Just then the boat hit some waves and Hermione felt slightly nauseous. The ship bobbed slightly again and she found herself thinking, _since when did standing up require looking up at the ceiling_??  
  
She was shaken out of her reverie by the feeling of two strong arms around her waist.  
  
"Fancy meeting you here, Granger," came a familiar drawl from behind her.

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A/N: Love it, hate it? Let me know. I prefer constructive criticism. I'm trying so hard not to fall into the traditional D/Hr clichés, but sometimes, it just can't be avoided. If anyone's OOC, please, tell me! I hate OOC characters and I'm afraid I may have done that in this case. Kevin is not unrealistic! Do not tell me so because he is based on my friend Mikey. He always has a camera around to get the worst shots of people, he and I always have tickling wars, he's cheerful and upbeat constantly, he's dramatic, and people question his sexuality. (they're wrong to, of course)  
  
One thing I ask of anyone who reads, besides reviewing of course, is to give me ideas for what to write next! I have all the cities planned out and I have an ending worked out. I just need things to write about while they're on the ship and when they're in the cities.  
  
I'll love you forever if you push that purple/blue button.


	2. No Escape

**A/N**: Uh.. I don't do summaries. Sorry. Merci beaucoup to all my reviewers.

Once again, please read and review with constructive criticism. Also, **review with what you want to see in the future**!! I have a plotline, but not much "filler" action, you know? There will be HP cameos so review with who you want to see. Enjoy.

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Chapter 2: No Escape

"Oof, sorry about that. Thanks for catching me," said Hermione, as she quickly scrambled to a standing position and tried to keep her balance. Unfortunately, fate was against her and the boat tipped slightly again. This time though, she had tried to turn around to see who had saved her and ended up falling away from him. Her eyes widened in surprise as a man with that oh-so-familiar smirk and white blond hair strewn across his face shot forward to catch her once again. _No wonder that voice was so familiar, _she thought.

It took her only a second to regain her senses. "ARGGGGHH!!! LET GO OF ME MALFOY!!" Hermione yelled as she tried to twist her body out of his grip. She'd momentarily forgotten that she wasn't standing firmly on her own feet, though.

Draco shrugged and said, "As you wish," and let go of her. Hermione fell with a soft _thump,_ as Draco casually leaned against the wall, all the while laughing inwardly, and watched her glare at him. Her reaction to him being there was worth having to save her. She was as predictable as ever, minus that one time in third year. He'd seen her when she had run past him. It was the bushy hair that jogged his memory. He would have thought that after five years that she would have been able to tame it, but apparently not. She had managed to cut it shorter in a better style though, so it didn't appear that unruly. Who'd have imagined the little bookworm would have some sense of style? He was actually curious as to what she'd been doing lately. She had all but disappeared from the face of the wizarding world. Not that he was particularly interested, mind you, but it wasn't like one could miss the headlines screaming, "WHERE IS HARRY POTTER'S BEST FRIEND NOW?" He was going to go and annoy her while getting some information (Malfoys multitask, of course), but had seen her wobble a bit because of the boat. It was easy to see that Hermione hadn't gotten her sea legs yet, and he made the split second decision to catch her when she started falling. It was obviously the right one, from the look of fury on her face. _Aaah.. I'd forgotten the joy such a look brings me, _thought Draco, with a silent laugh.

Hermione got up, walked over to Draco and said angrily, "Why you little.."

"Little? I'm not little. But, obviously, you wouldn't know, Granger. While I'm sure you would like to, I don't think that's ever going to happen," finished Draco, with a smirk.

Hermione blanched as she realized what Draco was referring to, but recovered quickly, retorting, "There must be something you're making up for with that enormous ego of yours. It's obvious _something else _isn't as large." Hermione cut Draco off before he could reply, continuing, "What the hell are you doing here, anyways? Aren't you afraid to dirty yourself by being in such _low_ conditions?"

Draco scoffed and said, "Now that you mention it, I can feel my sense of style seeping away from standing near you. Is my hair getting frizzy? But, I must say, irritating you is quite a fun sport. If you really must know, I'm on vacation too. But uh.. I guess any hopes I had of a relaxing vacation just went out the window with you here." He blatantly ignored the real meaning of the latter question. Kevin was already shooting them strange looks as it was.

"Like I want you here on MY vacation? I should have just known that you, of all people, would be on this cruise to ruin it," spat Hermione, "Now you have the nerve to say that I would ruin YOUR vacation? I have half a mind to take out my wa.." She never got to finish.

"Granger.. Shut. Up." hissed Draco quietly so only Hermione could hear. He quickly indicated to something behind Hermione with a nod of his head. It was only then that Hermione realized that Kevin was still standing there and that she had almost hexed Draco in front of him. Malfoy made her lose her temper too easily and she wasn't thinking straight.

"My err.. water bottle, yeah. And douse you and your precious hair thoroughly with it," stammered Hermione. Kevin shot her a skeptical look and was about to open his mouth to tell her that she was terrible at lying, when a bellhop interrupted them. Their luggage had finally arrived at their room. While Kevin turned to try and find his among the stack, Hermione quickly returned her shrunken luggage to their normal size with a few whispered words. Preoccupied with the luggage and attempting to understand a bellboy with a strange accent, Kevin forgot completely about Hermione's strange statements.

Hermione grabbed her bags, turned to Kevin and said, "Let's just go to our room, Kev. Arguing with him is pointless since he'd need a brain in order to comprehend what I'm saying to him. I'm sorry about this disruption in our vacation. I promise there'll be no more disruptions from him." Hermione turned to glare at Draco as she spoke the last sentence, but was confused by the look on Draco's face.

He was looking at Kevin with a look of suspicion on his countenance. _It couldn't be, _he thought. _Fate would never be THAT cruel, right? _

Hermione had turned to ask Kevin why Draco was staring at him when the realization dawned upon her. It wasn't a pleasant thing to witness. Her face contorted from a look of confusion to one of utter fury as she grinded out her words.

"Please tell me that this.. this.. MONSTROSITY is not going to be our roommate for the next few weeks," Hermione and Draco implored at the exact same time. They then turned to each other and started arguing about what was worse - bushy, insane hair or a ferret face.

Kevin looked on with surprise and amusement. The fact that they knew each other was surprise enough, but the way they were acting was downright hilarious. He never thought he'd see the day where cool, sophisticated Draco or no-nonsense Hermione would start bickering like children, and with each other no less! It really was a Polaroid moment.

_Speaking of Polaroids.._ thought Kevin. He had started to rummage in his duffel bag for his camera when a hand caught his wrist and a voice interrupted him.

"Kevin, don't even think about taking a picture of us arguing," warned Hermione, as Kevin looked up to see Draco holding his wrist firmly and nodding in agreement. Kevin glanced at the two of them and thought with a smile, _they're agreeing, and they don't even know it. _He carefully hid it, though. They both had enough rage built up at that moment as it was.

"Explain," demanded Hermione, pulling Kevin out of his matchmaking thoughts with a simple statement. She didn't even need to say the "or else." The look on her face was enough.

"Well, it's really simple enough. I met Draco here on business in America. Remember how we're expanding the fashion lines overseas? We had to get a lawyer to handle the contracts and affairs and you know, all that silly pish-posh," said Kevin, with an impatient wave of his hand. "Robert, as great of a lawyer as he is, can't handle those crazy Americans and their legal system. Someone recommended Draco, since he's good with all that stuff and British. After we finished, he wanted a vacation, so I invited him to come along. And, well, TA DA!!" exclaimed Kevin, with a flourish of his hands and a broad in an attempt to lighten up the mood between the two some more. The death glares sent his way were evidence he was failing.. miserably.

Hermione sighed and thought silently, _Could this get any worse? I have to get out of here, but how? I wish I could apparate. I can't spend two weeks in the same room with this jerk! I'm going to go insane._

Kevin gave a huff and questioned impatiently, "Well, are you two just going to stand there and sulk like children or is one of you going to give me the key so we can get in our room?" He ducked right before the key could hit his head and muss up his perfectly styled hair. He snatched the key off the floor, fit it in its automatic reader and opened the door.

Hermione brightened almost instantly. She'd been on a cruise before, but that was nothing compared to this. There were three rooms- a living room, a bedroom and a bathroom. They were all nicely decorated and cozy, but paled in comparison to the view off the balcony. A wide expanse of deep blue waters was laid out before her, shimmering, as if containing a million sparkling jewels. It had a calming effect on her.

It was having the same effect on Draco as well. He'd always liked the ocean, such a peaceful contrast to the hectic commotion and confusion of the land. And with that thought, all the serenity dissipated and he turned back into the room. It was only then he noticed that all three beds were in the same room.

Hermione had noticed as well and her initial calmness was replaced with a sense of foreboding. With a sigh, she plopped her suitcase on the ground and began to unpack. Draco walked out onto the balcony and sat down on one of the chairs to stare at the mesmerizing ocean.

Kevin glanced at the two, lost in their own worlds. _Boy, do they need my help_. _This is going to be harder than I thought, though. If anyone deserves a little happiness, however, it has to be these two, _Kevin thought. _Besides, I was always up for a challenge, _thought Kevin again with a wicked grin. With that, he started to unpack, all the while thinking up devious tricks and plans.

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Hermione closed her eyes and simply let herself take in the moment. The sky was painted in vivid shades of red and dark blue and violet, and the colors reflected off the waves and water. The breeze swirled her hair around her face but she didn't care. It reminded her of the _Titanic_.

She chuckled cynically at this thought. _Right, this is definitely the Titanic. Only I don't feel like I'm the Queen of the World and my true love isn't standing beside me, _she thought, _Nope, this is the dead, sunken version. If only Ron.._

"No," said Hermione, out loud, "NO." _This is all in the past. If only Malfoy wasn't here. Why did he have to be here? I was so close, but now.._

With a loud sigh, Hermione turned her back on the picturesque scene and walked out of the room.

A/N: SDFLJLSFH!! J'ai fini!! Finally! So sorry about the long time it took to update. Every time I went to work on this story, I ended up editing a ton of what I had already written. This chapter has gone in 7 different directions, and well, yeah. The dialogue just never seemed Hermione or Draco enough for me. A few notes: I have "bushy" hair, I got it cut shorter, it worked better. And it was easy, so it's not like Hermione's doing major upkeep on her hair. See? No dramatically changed Hermione. ) And I am American, so when I said crazy Americans, I meant it. No offense to anyone, but we are crazy. Kevin is not gay. I left a lot of things unexplained, like why Draco's there, why he didn't just get another room, etc. It'll all come out eventually.

Constructive criticism please. I think I am looking for a **beta**. But I need one that is okay with me emailing out of the blue after a month of not hearing from me and feels fine having me bounce ideas off of him/her. So email me if you're interested! Review, j'adore reviews!


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